The Other Woman
by KRDAMD5
Summary: A missing moment and ATC to the Long Long Trail. (I fixed it!)
1. Chapter 1

The Other Woman - MM and ATC To the Long Long Trail

You know the drill. I don't own them and I don't get paid.

Note: I hate this episode. It's horrible and so unlike Matt to let that brunette vamp manipulate him like that. And no Kitty? What were the writer's thinking? I figured it was about time someone fixed the problem. If you are one of the few who DO like this episode, please read no more. Just walk away quietly and calmly. If you do decide to continue to read, do NOT send me hatemail or tell me how wrong I am. Unlike some authors, I will NOT respond to that.

** XOXOXOXOXOXO**

Kitty sat quietly in the back of the saloon, playing solitaire while keeping an eye on her business. To anyone watching her, she would appear to be without a care in the world as she quietly turned one card after another over in her quiet little game. To anyone who didn't know her.

"Kitty?" Doc approached the table, pulled out a chair and plopped down into it, placing his bag in the chair next to him and his hat to the side. "Care to tell me what's wrong with you?" His expression told her he wasn't leaving without an answer.

Kitty frowned as she raised her eyes from her losing hand and looked over at him. "What do you mean, what's wrong with me? There's nothing wrong with me."

Doc took a scrub of his mustache and nodded at Sam as he walked up and sat a beer down in front of him. "Thank you, Sam." "You could've fooled me." He muttered as he picked up the beer and took a sip.

"What in the world are you talking about?" She asked, almost afraid of his answer.

"You!" Doc declared with small glare in her direction. "You passed me on the street out there earlier, like I wasn't even there and just now when I came in, and loudly asked Sam for a beer, you didn't even look up or acknowledge my presence. Now, that's just not like you. So what's the problem?"

The corners of Kitty's mouth quirked up for just a second. "You know me too well, Curly." She replied.

"Uh, huh, and I know when you're avoiding talking about something." Doc pointed out with another pass over his facial hair. "What's wrong, Kitty?"

For several moments, Kitty kept her eyes on the cards in front of her as she reshuffled them and laid out another hand.

Doc sat silently beside her, allowing her time to sort out her thoughts and put them into words, if she chose to. There were times she didn't always choose to.

Finally, Kitty looked up at Doc and the corners of her mouth twitched up again, this time forming into a genuine smile of gratitude for the older man's concerns for her well-being. "I'm fine, Doc." She answered. "Honest, I'm fine."

Doc studied her face, knowing full well, she wasn't fine. Lifting his mug, he took another drink of the cold beer while he decided whether to force her to talk or just let it be. "Well, alright." He said, as he took one last drink, replaced the mug on the table and wearily got to his feet.

Grabbing his hat and bag, he paused and looked down at her. "If you need to talk, you know where to find me."

Kitty nodded without looking up, as she placed a black queen on top of a black jack, not even noticing her error. Her mind wasn't on the game. It was on Doc's question. Was she alright?

No. She decided rather quickly. No, she was not alright. She was actually kind of scared and worried. But not for herself, never for herself as long as she there, safe within the confines of the saloon and Dodge itself. It was Matt that worried and frightened her and there was nothing she could do to solve the situation.

A week prior, Matt had left town headed to Hays. But Kitty had good reason to suspect that he wasn't headed there now. Right before he left, Matt had seen quite a lot of the woman named Sara Drew. Kitty hadn't worried at first, as she felt she knew Matt and could trust him. But when the woman persisted in trying to draw him away and take her to Ft. Wallace, Kitty had finally loudly protested to Matt, the night before he had left.

She hadn't meant to argue with him, hadn't wanted anything to mar their last night together for a while. But she hadn't been able to stop the torrent of fear and even jealously when Chester had mentioned the dinner Matt and Sara had shared and how cozy and happy together they had seemed. He even went so far as to suggest that perhaps, Mr. Dillon had met the one woman who could get him to the church.

That night, when Matt had finally made it up to her rooms, she was awake and sitting on the settee, waiting on him. "Matt, we need to talk." She'd said stonily.

Though Matt had a pretty good idea of what that talk was about and how it might go, he nodded and took up a place on the settee beside her, not bothering to remove his hat or gunbelt. He didn't want to have to redress if she kicked him out.

"Kitty," he sighed. "I know you probably heard about the dinner I had with Sara, and I know you're probably upset by it. But you have no reason to be. Nothing happened. We ate, had a nice talk and I walked her back over to the Dodge House. That's all there was to it."

Kitty angrily slid her eyes over to him. "That was all, huh?" She got up from the settee. "Then why is Chester telling me that you are practically engaged?"

Matt looked up at her with a frown of irritation. "Because Chester has a big mouth and often jumps to conclusions without anything to back them up."

Taking a deep breath, Matt rubbed the back of his neck and softened his voice. "Kitty, I'm sorry. Honestly. I didn't think anything about having dinner with her. You were working and Doc was out of town. I didn't think it was any big deal."

"But it was a big deal, Matt." Kitty shook her head at him. "You know how oblivious Chester can be when it comes to things of that nature. If he saw something, then there had to be something to see. Matt, that woman is spoiled and used to getting her way. She wants more out of you than just an escort to Ft. Wallace."

"Now, you're jumping to conclusions." Matt snapped at her as he got to his feet. "For your information, I've already told her I would not take her to Ft. Wallace and she accepted that. The only place I'm going is to Hays."

Kitty dropped her head, ashamed of her outburst. "I'm sorry, Matt." She whispered, trying hard not to cry. "I guess you're right. I did jump to conclusions. It's just… I…"

"I know, Kitty." Matt sighed. When, after a moment, Kitty hadn't said anything else, Matt shook his head and headed for the door. "I'll see you when I get back." He told her.

Kitty nodded, but just as he reached the door, she called out again. "Matt?"

His handed stayed on the knob. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come off as such a… a…"

"I know." His voice formed the words, but Kitty wasn't sure if they come from his head or his heart.

The next day, after Matt had left, Kitty had gone into the mercantile for a few things and Mr. Jonas remarked to her about Marshal Dillon escorting Sara Drew to Ft. Wallace. Though it was difficult, Kitty kept a neutral expression when she replied. "As I understood it, he was going to Hays."

"Well," Jonas shrugged. "Could be, but that Miss Drew was in here yesterday buying supplies for a trip and she mentioned that she needed enough for two people to get them to Ft. Wallace. I asked her if she'd found someone other than the Marshal and she said no. So I figure she talked him into it after all."

Silently, Kitty nodded, paid for her purchases and left, walking disconsolately back to the Long Branch.

That had been a week ago, and though she went about her life and business as though nothing was wrong and maintained a calm pleasant demeanor to everyone, she knew things were very wrong indeed. And now, Doc had noticed it too.

With a weighted sigh, Kitty threw the cards on the table, stacked them up and rose from her chair. Sitting there, worrying about something she could do nothing about was senseless.

If Matt wanted Sara Drew, then she'd let him have her. It would hurt more than anything, even worse than the bullet in the back, she'd taken last year. But if that was what he wanted, she'd let him go.

After all, she certainly had no strings on him. He had wanted it that way and she had accepted those conditions. If he now wanted to choose another woman, she had no one to blame but herself.

"Miss Kitty?" Sam called from the bar and Kitty nodded in his direction, grateful for the distraction.

"Be right there, Sam." Forcefully, she pushed all thoughts of Matt as far as she could and went to see about her barman's needs.

She knew later that night, she'd return to those thoughts and worries, when the closed saloon would no longer offer distraction, but there were other ways to deal with that. More liquid ways, if the thoughts and worries persisted beyond the sheer physical exertion she intended to put herself to.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you everyone for the kind reviews. Sorry I've not been able to respond personally and sorry it's taken me so long to update. But I have limited computer time due to sharing with a significant other who isn't often into sharing. Don't worry, I didn't kill him and the bruises will heal. Wink

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

Matt rode into town a day later, sore of body and heavy of heart. So many thoughts and worries were flooding through him that he didn't know which way was up. Thoughts of the woman who died in his place and worries about how that had made him feel. He'd had a lot of time to think about all of that on his way back to Dodge.

He hadn't wanted to admit it but Sara Drew had attracted him. She had been fun and courageous and beautiful and had given her life to save his. She reminded him a great deal of Kitty in some ways, except, Kitty would have never tricked him into taking her 150 miles across the dangerous prairie. Kitty would have been honest with him.

There were other differences between the two, of course. As Kitty had stated, even though she'd never met her, Sara was spoiled and used to getting her own way. And though he hadn't considered it before, Matt was now beginning to realize, she'd manipulated him from the very beginning. She had gone after him with a single minded determination and if she hadn't died, Matt wasn't certain what would've happened.

Of course, he knew, he wouldn't have been happy in the long run. No matter how attractive the woman was, or how much of a pull, as Godie had put it, there was between them, Sara wasn't Kitty. She wasn't the woman that had given so much to him without asking for anything in return. And she wasn't the woman he truly loved.

Kitty was.

But had he damaged that? He didn't know that Sara would be waiting out there on the prairie for him; wagon loaded with supplies and a smug smile on her face, but that didn't change too much to his way of thinking.

He could have and should have sent her back to town or just continued on his way to Hays and left her out there. He now understood that her stubborn insistence on going to Ft Wallace, whether he helped or not, was just a ploy to trap him.

If he'd left her there, chances are she would've finally returned to Dodge in search of someone else to take her. Of course, she might've trailed him to Hays, constantly cajoling and pleading for his assistance, despite his protests. But either way, what had happened, might not have, if he'd done what he should have.

But he hadn't.

Now, Sara Drew was dead and Matt placed the blame for that completely on his own shoulders. The man, who had actually killed her, was only a hateful tool the fates had used to complete the journey he had started by not refusing her.

When Matt rode past the Long Branch, he chanced a glance inside but he couldn't see much. It was about noon, so Kitty was most likely either at dinner or back in her office or storeroom, working manically to take her mind off his being gone.

She didn't know that he was aware of that practice of hers, but he was. Sam had confided that to him once, in his worry for her health, when Matt had been gone for a particularly long time. Something more for Matt to think and worry about.

"Well, hello, Marshal." Moss greeted him when he reached the stable. Noting Matt's arm in the sling, he nodded towards the injury. "You alright?"

"I'm fine, Moss. Take care of my horse for me?" Matt's voice held no hints for the stable man.

"Sure will, Marshal. You going to go have Doc take a look at that arm?" Moss asked as he took a hold of Buck's reins.

"No. Feed him plenty of grain, will ya? He's had a rough ride."

"Looks like he ain't the only one." Moss said as Matt turned and strode off in the direction of the jail.

"Well! Mr. Dillon!" Chester smiled broadly when Matt came into the small brick building. Then he saw his arm in the sling. "Are you alright? What happened to your arm? Do you want me to go get Doc? How'd ya…"

"Chester!" Matt's voice was loud and gruff, though he hadn't meant for it to be. "Look, just don't worry about my arm. It's fine and it's a long story. I don't wish to go into it right now. Okay?"

"Ah, sure, Mr. Dillon." Chester answered a little dejectedly at Matt's rare show of temper with him. "Ah, could I get you something or do anything for ya? Maybe ya'd like some coffee. I ain't got any made but it wouldn't take me too long. I still got yesterday's grounds."

Matt shook his head. "No, Chester, I'm fine. I just want to get myself settled before I do much of anything else."

"Yes, Sir." Chester nodded plugging his hands in his back pocket, not sure exactly what to do as he swiveled back and forth on his stiff leg.

Matt shook his head and took a deep breath. "Chester, why don't you go on to dinner or something, huh? I need to catch up on my paperwork here and look into a few things. There's no need for you to hang around."

Chester started to reply when the door opened and Doc sauntered in. "I thought I saw you, when you rode in." He stood before Matt's desk, not looking too pleased to see him. "You been over to the Long Branch yet"

"No." Matt didn't want to show how much that thought worried him. He didn't want to see Kitty until he could sort things out in his mind. Of course, he'd had a hundred and fifty miles of riding to do that and he was still muddled.

"Well, don't you think you ought to?" Doc asked bluntly. "You know, Kitty's been awful worried about you?"

Matt looked up quickly, not quite hiding a brief guilty look. "She said something to you?"

"About what?" Doc knew it! He just knew it. There had been some sort of problem between those two before Matt left town.

"Nothing." Matt withdrew his gaze.

"Matt…" Doc started to try and get it out of Matt what was going on, but he noticed Chester leaning against the wall, ears attuned. Whatever was going on between the Marshal and the saloon owner, it was none of the town's business, and Chester would make it just that. "Well… I… I'll see ya later." He took a tug of his ear as he turned and headed for the door.

"Well, forever more." Chester frowned. "What do ya think his problem was? I mean it ain't like ya ain't been gone before. Miss Kitty knows you have to leave town ever so often. Besides, she ain't your wife or nothing so she ain't got no right to complain. She's just your friend. Nothing you do is her business."

Matt took a deep breath to keep from knocking Chester on his rear at that moment. Kitty had every right to know what had happened out there on the prairie and it was her business. Matt just hoped he could pull together the courage to tell her and that he'd still have a chance with her once he did.

"Chester." Matt got up from his desk and started for the door. "I'm going down to the Long Branch."

"Oh, well, good." Chester smiled. "Cold beer does sound kinda good."

"I'm going alone, Chester." Matt said pointedly. "You stay here. I need to talk to Kitty."

"About what?" Chester asked, nose now firmly out of joint at the slight.

"About something that is very much HER business and not yours." Matt snapped as he walked out and slammed the door behind him.

"Well, forever more." Chester muttered again as he watched Matt through the window. "If that don't beat all."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Again, thank you for your sweet reviews and comments. If I could sell all this hard work, I could afford to buy another computer and then I could spend all day talking to all of you. Well, maybe not but I could at least afford to_ Oh, okay. Never mind.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

Marching into the Long Branch, Matt didn't stop just outside to look in, like he usually did. Pushing the doors open, he forced himself to quick step to Kitty's side as soon as he saw her standing at the end of the bar.

Kitty looked up when she heard him approach and several emotions swept through her as he approached. Fear, that he was going to tell her he was choosing Sara Drew. Gratitude, that he was back. Worry, when she saw his arm in the sling. And lastly, anger, that he had taken the precious gift she had given him years ago, and trampled it under his feet in favor of a rich, spoiled woman who couldn't possibly love him as she did.

Or did she? Or did Matt love her?

"Matt." She greeted him evenly. "Glad to see you back." A frown creased her brow as she noticed his injury. "Are you okay?" She lightly touched his arm.

"I'm fine, Kitty." He answered, not wanting her to worry about him in light of what he was going to tell her. "But I need to talk to you. Can_ can we go back to your office?"

Kitty nodded and turned back to her office, understanding that this was to be a serious conversation and one she was not likely to enjoy.

Upon the door closing, Kitty walked over to her desk and reached for a bottle of whiskey. "Would you like a drink?" She asked, purposely avoiding looking at him, afraid of what she might see.

"No." Matt answered solemnly and quietly.

Leaving the whiskey where it was, Kitty finally turned, leaning back against her desk, arms folded protectively across her chest. "Okay." She sighed. "You might as well say it all."

Matt ducked his head, running his hand around the brim of his hat, as he considered his words very carefully. Finally, he brought his gaze back to hers and held it there, hoping he could convey his feelings better that way than by the words he often found so difficult to find. "You were right." He finally told her.

"About?" She didn't trust herself to say too much.

"Sara." Matt answered. "She was waiting for me out on there on the prairie when I left town. I_" He paused and licked his lips, trying to find the words to explain without making himself out to be the total fool that he felt he was. But he decided that if he wanted Kitty, and he wanted things back the way they were, he couldn't spare himself. He had to be brutally honest.

"I should have sent her back here, or just left her there, but I didn't. I didn't like it at first, but I agreed to escort her to Ft. Wallace. I_ I just couldn't leave her out there, Kitty. She needed my help. She_ she_" He stopped for a moment, trying to organize his words better.

Kitty swallowed hard, but remained perfectly still and silent. She knew Matt. It was best she say nothing until he finished.

"We_" He haltingly continued. "We ran into some trouble out there, a lot of trouble as a matter of fact. I got hurt and she helped me. She even put herself in danger to get help for me. She_ she found a man to come with her to the camp, we'd set up, thinking he was going to help me. He had_ other ideas about her though. She ended up getting herself killed, protecting me."

Kitty remained silent. Matt's expression told her there was a great deal more to this and though she didn't want to hear it, she continued to listen. She wanted to pull him to her and sooth away his obvious distress but not yet.

"I owe her my life, Kitty." He said sadly and pleadingly.

"Were you in love with her?" The question was asked quietly and with as little emotion as she could manage.

Matt shook his head instantly. "No." He forced himself to meet her unflinching gaze. "I gave that a lot of thought on my ride back here. I'm not sure exactly what it was I felt for her, but I wasn't in love with her. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't attracted to her. I was. But that's another thing I realized on the ride back. What attracted me to her the most, were the same things that I love about you."

Kitty nodded. "Uh, huh." Turning away, she reached again for the whiskey bottle, and this time, did pour herself a glass, hesitating only a second before pouring one for him as well. "So now what?" She asked handing him the glass.

Matt took it and drank before looking back at her. "What do you mean?"

"What happens now?" She asked. "You may not have been in love with her, Matt, but it's obvious you cared about her. You can't deny that."

Matt shook his head. "I don't."

"How much?" She asked point blank.

Matt dropped his head again, not sure exactly how to answer. He hadn't loved her, but there had been a connection there.

Kitty took a swallow of her own drink, sat the glass carefully on her desk and then turned back to him, her face devoid of expression. She didn't want anything like emotions to cloud what she had to say to him. Taking a deep breath, she began.

"I refuse to have another woman in our life, Matt Dillon. I have put up with a great deal from you. I've accepted your refusal to marry and have kids. I've seldom complained when you've taken off at the drop of a hat without saying a word to me. I've taken care of the ex-girlfriends and various kids you've dropped off on me. I've nursed you and loved you and gave you everything you asked of me. And I'd gladly do it all over again. But that is one thing I will not do. I am sorry she's dead. I hate to hear of anyone's dying. But I will not have her ghost in my life. In OUR life."

"Kitty_"

"No, Matt." She threw up a hand, cutting off any words he might have found. "You need to decide what she really meant to you. You need to decide if it was more than what we've had or what exactly it was. If it was more than what we've had together, even though she's dead, than I never want to see you again. Do you understand me? I will not be second in your life to anything but that damn badge. Not ever!"

It took only a second's glance at her face for Matt to understand how completely serious she was. Nodding, he set his glass on her desk and then turned, leaving without a word. He barely had the door closed when he heard the sound of glass hitting the wall and shattering upon impact. It didn't take much figuring on his part to know why.

Sam looked concerned and started towards the door, but Matt stopped him. "Leave her alone for a while, Sam. She needs some time."

"She alright?" Sam darted a glance at the still closed office door.

"No." Matt answered truthfully as his eyes, too, traveled over to the door. "Neither one of us are."

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Two weeks ambled by. Matt got called out of town and willingly he went. He'd had plenty of time to think, yet he still felt absolutely confused by the whole situation. He'd even sought out Doc one evening, after he'd stopped by the Long Branch. Kitty had turned away, going into her office and closing the door.

Doc could offer few words of wisdom, other than what Matt already knew. He, and he alone, needed to resolve this and until he did, he would never stand a chance of getting Kitty back into his life.

The trip proved to be the catalyst Matt needed. He had been called out to the Holloway ranch at the far edge of Ford County to check into cattle theft. By the time he rode in, it was too late to do much except spend the night and investigate the next morning.

The rancher, Zed Holloday, was a widower, his wife having died of pneumonia the previous winter. Displayed lovingly atop the broad oak mantle of the stone fireplace, he had a picture of the woman, fair of face and trim of figure and obviously cherished by her husband.

"You married, Marshal?" Zed asked as they ate their evening meal.

"Uh, no." Matt answered. He really didn't want to get on that subject.

"Then you're missing out." Zed declared. "I didn't have my Josephine for more'n a few years, but it was long enough to know how empty my life was without her in it. A woman brings something to a man, Marshal. She fills up a part of him he didn't know he had."

Matt sat quietly, pushing his food around on his plate, his appetite beginning to wane.

"Ya know, before I met Jo, I thought my life in good shape." Zed didn't seem to notice the Marshal's silence or see the strickened look on his face.

"I had this here ranch, and it was going good. I had money in the bank and plenty of food and a good house. I didn't owe no one and no one owed me. I could come and go as I pleased and I didn't have to explain nothing I did to no one. If I wanted to get up and take off hunting for a week or two I just did it. I did things my way.

But then I met Jo."

The older man paused and took a sip of his coffee. It was obvious to Matt that his mind was no longer there in the room, but somewhere in the past, gazing upon the face of the woman he loved.

"Lordy, she was pretty." Zed rhapsodized. "I don't reckon I ever saw a prettier woman. Well, that red head in Dodge, the one that runs that saloon? She might make a close second, but she's the only one I know of that could ever come close to my Josephine. And I'll tell you, Jo had more than just looks. Why she was the bravest and kindest and sweetest thing. She put her life on the line for me, more'n once, I'll tell ya. And smart? Let me tell you; I thought I was doing good out here, till Jo got a hold of my books. She helped me make more money than I ever could on my own."

Matt pushed his plate back from him, unable to even pretend to be interested in his meal. He wished the old man would just stop talking but glancing over at his host, he was pretty sure that wasn't about to happen.

Zed noticed Matt push his plate away and frowned. "Food bad, Marshal? Can I get ya something else?"

"Oh, no, no, Mr. Holloday. I guess I'm just not too hungry. It_ it was a long ride out here and I guess, I'm just a little too tired to really have much of an appetite."

"Oh," Zed answered but failed to take the hint. "Well, I guess I can understand that. I get that way sometimes. But now when Jo was alive, she wouldn't let me get by with that. She'd take care of me whether I deserved it or not. And I tell ya, there were times, I surely didn't deserve it. Why, if I had a nickel for every time she forgave me for some fool thing I done, or nursed me when I got myself stoved up, I'd be a lot richer man than I am now."

He paused again, but only long enough to refill his coffee cup.

"Yep, it's amazing to me how forgiving a woman can be when she loves a man. I figure about the only thing she won't forgive is if he was to bring another woman into their lives. And even then, she's most likely to forgive if that woman don't stay and her man promises her she'll never be back."

Zed cast saddened and guilty eyes in Matt's direction. "Least ways, my Jo did."

Matt's eyes widened at the admission. "You mean you _ ?"

"Well, not all the way, but I may as well have." Zed shrugged. "I met me an ol' gal in Hays once. She had this soft brown hair and beautiful brown eyes and boy howdy, did she ever have herself a figure. And she knew how to use it, if you know what I mean."

Zed leaned back in his chair and lightly thumped his chest. "You can't tell it by looking at me now, Marshal, but back then, I was a fine figure of a man. I had me a full head of hair and was solid muscle in every place that counts. My Jo, she never failed to tell me how good looking I was and all but_ well, I don't know. I guess after hearing it so often from her, I just sorta took it for granted, took HER for granted. You know, like she was supposed to be telling me them things cause we were together. But when this other woman come along and told me the same things, well_" he shook his head. "I guess_"

His voice dropped just then and Matt understood why.

"I guess, I let her talk go to my head some. I admit I was flattered and though she wasn't as pretty as my Jo, she was still attractive. She_" Suddenly he stopped and looked at Matt squarely. "I don't want you to think nothing bad about this other woman, Marshal. She wasn't guilty of nothing but being attracted to a man she thought was single."

As Matt's eyes widened even further, Zed nodded. "Yep, you're right in what you're thinking. I didn't tell this woman I was married. I didn't mention Jo, not once. I_ I don't really have no defense other than, well, I didn't think of it. I felt some kind of pull between this gal and me and nothing, it seemed, was gonna keep me from looking into it. Not even the woman that loved me and I loved back."

Matt cleared his throat and looked down. Zed's words stung though the old man had no idea of the effect he was having. "You, uh, you and Jo apparently got over all this though, didn't you?"

Zed nodded. "Yes, we did. But it took an awful lot of hard work, for the both of us. I had to admit that I was attracted to this girl and that I hadn't been honest with her or Jo or even myself." Zed's voice grew even softer. "I then had to talk to Jo and explain it all to her. You know, I think I'd a rather a faced a whole tribe of Indians than that woman. But I knew if I was to get her back and keep her, I had to talk to her, tell it all to her."

Matt was more than just a little curious. "How did you explain it?"

Zed shrugged again. "I just told her what was in my heart. I told her what I was thinking and more than that, what I wasn't thinking. Like, I wasn't thinking how this whole thing was hurting her. To be honest, I wasn't thinking much of her at all, at the time. And I had to admit that to Jo. It wasn't easy. But it was the only way."

"She obviously forgave you." Matt pointed out, glancing at the large painting above the fireplace and seeing a glimmer of hope for himself.

"Yes, she did." Zed agreed. "And she never mentioned it again. But I know she never forgot it. I didn't neither. But I think that's one of the things that made us stronger."

Matt pursed his lips in thought for a second. "Did she ever _ do the same type of thing?" He asked.

"Yes and no." Zed answered. "There was a period of time that I was gone a lot from here. Buying cattle and such. I couldn't take Jo with me and I couldn't see what harm it did to leave her here on a well-stocked ranch with ranch hands to help out if need be. But Josephine disagreed. You see, there was this barn raising and dance coming up and she wanted to go to it. Well, I wasn't about to let some little old dance keep me from my work and I told her so. Boy did it ever make her mad."

He paused again for more coffee. "But I paid no heed and just went ahead on. I told her it was just the way it was." He paused and shook his head while the memory of that fight washed over him.

"Anyway," he finally continued. "While I was gone, one of my hands got hurt trying to bust a bronc and it kept him a bed for most a week. Jo, being the kind of person she was, naturally took to tending to him. And that hand, being a man with good eyesight, took to Jo. Now don't get me wrong, Marshal. Jo never done nothing more than just kiss him once, and he started that. And besides, when I come back home, she told me everything about what happened. But it still hurt some, to know my woman took some comfort in another man, while I was off working."

Matt looked down again. "You forgave her of course."

"Wasn't nothing to forgive." Zed told him. "I reckon if I'd a paid more heed to my woman than to my job, nothing would have happened. I knew she didn't want me to go, but I went anyhow, saying as how I had to."

Matt swallowed hard and finally pushed back his chair. "Uh, Mr. Holloday, I've really enjoyed talking with you, but I_ I'm kind of tired. So, if you'll forgive me, I think I'll turn in now."

"You go right ahead, Marshal." Zed nodded at him with a smile. "Have yourself a nice rest."

Matt nodded, but he knew, that would be impossible now.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

One last time, thanks very much for all the wonderful reviews. I wish I could take the time to thank each of you individually. Gosh you all are nice. Glow1210, you need to write more so I can read it. Also, I need to give thanks to SingerMe. She didn't want me to mention her, but I have to. She didn't hesitate, when I contacted her, to help a total stranger with Gunsmoke trivia. Thank you, SingerMe.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

The next morning, Matt, despite no sleep, rose early and did what he could at Mr. Holloday's ranch, leaving as quickly as he could and thanking the man profusely for everything. Zed watched the lawman as he rode out, not sure what it was he'd done exactly, but knowing that something had helped the man's mind.

Matt's ride back was too long and too short. He now knew what he needed to do but still uncertain as to how. Still, if he wanted back the woman he loved, he had to try.

He arrived back in Dodge, late that night, after the town had closed down. Anxiously, Matt looked up at the second story window, afraid the ever beckoning light would no longer be there. By some miracle, it was.

Taking a deep breath of gratitude, Matt hurried down to the stable, left his horse with a groggy Moss and then hurriedly made his way to the back stairs of the Long Branch, pausing only once to catch his breath. When he reached her door, he thought better of using his key. Instead, he knocked softly, praying she would answer, despite the late hour.

"Yes?" Kitty's voice was soft and curious. She knew who she wanted to be at her door, but she didn't expect him.

"Kitty, it's me." He answered just as softly.

In seconds, the door opened and Kitty grabbed his arm, pulling him in. "Matt, what are you doing here? Is everything alright? Are you okay?"

"We need to talk, Kitty." He took his hat off respectfully but held onto it, in case she refused to let him stay.

"We tried that." She pointed out with a dismissive wave of her hand. "It didn't seem to help much."

Matt nodded. "I know, but that's because we didn't_ _I_ didn't try very hard."

Kitty opened her mouth in reply but he gave her no time for rebuttal. "Hear me out, Kitty. Please. And when I'm done, I'll leave if you want and I won't come back unless you say. Okay?"

Silently, Kitty nodded and pointed to the settee. "Guess you might as well have a seat." She answered.

Watching her warily, Matt unbuttoned his jacket and took a seat. "You don't have your gun anywhere close, do you?" His tone was teasing but he was half serious.

"Do I need it?"

The teasing tone disppeared. "I'd never hurt you, Kitty."

"You already have." Kitty moved over to him and sat down beside him. "I know you'd never lay a hand on me, Matt. But I almost wish you had. It wouldn't have hurt as bad and I would've healed quicker."

Matt swallowed and looked down to the floor. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Kitty. I didn't even think_"

"Of me." She put in followed by a heavy sigh. "Matt, I realize this little arrangement of ours allows you, _and me_, a certain amount of freedom. I don't expect you to check in with me every time you do something no more you than you expect me to. Normally, you wouldn't owe me any explanations. But this_" She rose from her seat and wandered over to the end of her bed before turning, leaning back on the frame and looking down at him. "This is different." She finished sadly.

Matt nodded. "Yes, it is." Getting up, Matt tossed his hat down on the settee and took his jacket off, laying it next to his hat. He wasn't leaving until this was straightened out.

Early the next morning, Matt sat down on the side of the bed beside Kitty and looked down at her sleeping form. They had talked until just before dawn. Matt had bared his soul to her in a way he'd never done before. He told her everything, and she, in return, had bared her thoughts and worries to him. They didn't spare each other anything but when they'd fallen silent; it was with a lighter heart.

For the first time, since Sara Drew had walked in his door, Matt had a clear head and heart and knew what, or more likely, who was most important to him.

Softly placing a gentle kiss on her brow; Matt started to rise when Kitty's hand snagged his. "Not yet." She didn't demand or plead.

With a nod and a smile, Matt sat back down beside her and pulled her up into his arms, kissing her with all the passion he possessed. Trying to let her know just how much he'd missed her and needed her.

Kitty returned the kiss with equal fervor, thanking the stars above that they'd worked it out.

When they finally came up for air, Matt pulled back with a serious expression. "Kitty, I promise not to do anything like this again but_"

"I don't want your promises, Matt." She answered. "I just want you to stop and think once in a while before you rush off to play Sir Galahad to every woman that bats an eyelash at you."

She did more than bat an eyelash at him but Matt decided it was perhaps not the best idea to point that out. Not now. "Are we okay then?" He asked.

Kitty looked up appraisingly at him. "Okay? I don't know. All I do know, is that I love you. I can and have put up with a lot from you, just as_" she waved a hand at him when he opened his mouth to speak. "_just as, you've put up with a lot from me. We're stubborn people, you and I. We both have a tendency to do things our own way and we don't often consult anyone else before hand. I'm not asking you to stop being you, Matt. I'm not aking you to stop trying to help people. That is part of the reason I love you so much. But I am asking you to remember that anything you do, affects more than you. It's affects me as well because I do love you."

Matt nodded pulling her back for one more kiss before finally releasing her. "I may make you sorry for that."

"Probably." Kitty agreed with a smile. "But I'll take the chance."

Matt shook his head a little sadly. "Seems to me, you've already taken more chances than you should when it comes to me."

"For the most part, it's been worth it." Kitty beamed up at him before her expression sobered. "It always will be as long as you remember who really loves you. I meant what I told you, Matt. I'll share you with that badge because it's part of you, because you wouldn't be who you are without it. But I will never share you with another woman, alive or dead."

Nodding, Matt bent once more and placed a softer kiss on her lips. "You don't have to worry about that."

Kitty silently watched him turn and head to the door, saying nothing as he left. She had no doubts that Matt was sincere. She knew he hadn't gone out looking for Sara Drew. Sara Drew had come looking for him.

But Kitty Russell was a practical woman and a wise one. Matt Dillon was a mighty attractive man and easily turned the heads of many women. Whether he sought their attention or not; he would receive it. She just hoped that when he did, he remembered this and refused their advances. But if he didn't, she vowed, she'd not stay to see what happened afterward.

She understood, better than he knew, how he felt about his badge and his role as US Marshal. And though there were times, his devotion to it superseded their plans and her wishes; she had mostly learned to accept that. It was part of him. But she would never accept another woman. When it came to that, Matt Dillon would have to choose. Stages and trains left Dodge every day, the same as they came in. If Matt didn't choose, she'd take one of those means of transportation and make the choice for him.

Silently making his way down the back stairs and to the alley below, Matt took in a lung full of air in relief. They had gotten through this and would survive it. He knew his blindness to Kitty's feelings as well as Sara's true motives had caused the problem and though Sara's death would always grieve him, it was tempered with the knowledge that he hadn't lost Kitty.

She had often told him that he had a lot to learn about women, and he knew now just how right she was. He made a promise to himself, while making his way through the early morning quiet of Dodge City, that he would never again allow a woman to manipulate him the way Sara had.

From this day forward, Matt Dillon would look at no other woman, no matter how skilled she was at getting her own way or how pretty or smart. Matt Dillon was not going through this again, ever.

Of course later that day, when Lettie Dawson, young, blonde, buxom and newly arrived from St. Louis, smiled brilliantly at him and asked for his help in getting to the Dodge House, he temporarily forgot that promise. But only temporarily.

As soon as he deposited her bags on the floor of the hotel, she asked him to show her the way to the cafe. Matt shook his head. "Sorry, Ma'am." He said quickly, leaving her shocked and dismayed as he quickly, with a mumbled apology, rushed away from her. "Oh, no you don't." He said under as his breath. "Not again."

THE END


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